On women’s biological defenses

If a bank is being robbed, women can secrete a substance that simultaneously alerts police and scrambles the vault combinations.

If a cab driver refuses to go to Brooklyn, women can secrete a substance that causes his tires to deflate.

If a kitten is stuck in a tree, women can secrete a substance that forms a wide, soft net.

If you have a bad hangover, women can secrete a substance that goes to the deli and buys aspirin, Gatorade and an egg-and-cheese sandwich.

If the GPS breaks, women can secrete a substance that identifies the exit you need.

If a representative to the United States Congress is a clueless dipshit, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.

620 notes

Show

  1. monkieglass reblogged this from clove01
  2. bluelittlegirl reblogged this from agent-sarahwalker
  3. arcanethought reblogged this from thefoodispeople
  4. clove01 reblogged this from maryphillipssandy and added:
    If a bank is being robbed, women can secrete a substance that simultaneously alerts police and scrambles the vault...
  5. lestoreadors reblogged this from daftandchildish
  6. daftandchildish reblogged this from poetryinmoti0n
  7. accubation-and-adoxography reblogged this from greatsavebylundqvist
  8. youcouldfuckingkissme reblogged this from going-to-scranton
  9. ladyclockworko1 reblogged this from amante-lasciato
  10. fhjakdjfhejwcn reblogged this from amante-lasciato
  11. dyrexic reblogged this from reyairia and added:
    What the? I don’t get it. I guess I better start googling that woman.
  12. reyairia reblogged this from lickypickystickyme
  13. andallislove reblogged this from lickypickystickyme
  14. cruehl reblogged this from amante-lasciato
  15. amante-lasciato reblogged this from greatsavebylundqvist
  16. llevartealhuerto reblogged this from goatsandhos
  17. drygeraniums reblogged this from going-to-scranton
  18. tmy-tmt reblogged this from maryphillipssandy
  19. targaryenviserys reblogged this from schrodingerscatisdead
  20. schrodingerscatisdead reblogged this from maryphillipssandy
  21. drunkenbanana reblogged this from lickypickystickyme
  22. kellzorz reblogged this from fuckinfrenchtoast
  23. aconite-monkshood-wolfsbane reblogged this from jellyfishjammin
  24. zanetheemo reblogged this from bemusedlybespectacled
  25. cynassa reblogged this from pokethepasta
  26. scairdycat reblogged this from lickypickystickyme
  27. jellyfishjammin reblogged this from deadrevolutionaries
  28. pokethepasta reblogged this from ministerofgrace